I have the best roommate in the world. And I’m not just saying that either. Recently some things have occurred in his life or may even occur soon in my life that may see us part ways as roommates and it makes me sad. Truly and genuinely sad that I may lose somebody that I have grown to love as a brother and a best friend. I have so many mixed emotions about these recent revelations and would like to reflect on how I feel about him and about the person I have become in the near two years that we have lived together. It has been probably the two most influential years of my life when I really needed to grow and did grow and needed somebody so badly to lean on and found that salvation in him. I would like to now tell you a bit about Kevin Martenson.
We came to live together by a bit of chance as the M1W wrestling school in the Anaheim area was being started by a good friend of ours and he needed instructors. Coincidentally, Kevin’s old roommate was leaving the state and Kevin needed a new place to live. At the time, I was staying with my parents after a recent break up saw me move away from the girlfriend I was living with previously. I didn’t need much more reason to move to Anaheim seeing as though this is where The Angels play and where Disneyland is and when Kevin agreed to it, it was on.
Obviously, Kevin is a fellow wrestler and I figured I’d get the wrestling part out of the way first. Above anything he does in the ring for himself, I think Kevin is a great instructor at the wrestling school. And as we go on here, you’ll see that this is just apart of his giving and selfless personality. He has so much patience with beginners and does not see himself as being better than anybody no matter if they have been wrestling for years or if it’s their first day. It’s a trait and tact that I wish I had more of. As a wrestler himself, he is vastly underrated. If he has a flaw it’s that he tries too hard. But it’s not in a bad way. Kevin knows the basics of pro wrestling so well but he doesn’t confine himself to them or rely on them. He’s always striving to do more or be better with his creativity and force himself to think outside the box. And that’s not always something that equates into success when you’re always evolving your style and adapting new things to your craft. He puts so much effort into everything he does that he is an inspiration to work with and be around.
Aside from wrestling, Kevin is probably thee absolute best person as far as character and class that I‘ve ever met. It could be because he was brought up in small town Pennsylvania but he is so unlike anybody I know, especially involved in the entertainment business. I have never seen Kevin be selfish or greedy. He is such a giving person that it’s almost unbelievable. I can be very selfish and very needy at times but Kevin will always give and give. One of my fatal flaws is that the more you give me, the more I will take and because of this, Kevin has had multiple chances to get upset or angry with me and has never been anything but genuinely nice and caring towards me. He is so forgiving of all my flaws but doesn’t let me rely on my flaws without motivating me to be better.
Kevin knows all of my dark and dirty secrets but still expects nothing but the best out of me. I fear the kind of degenerate I would have become if Kevin didn’t expect me to be so upstanding all the time despite all various times I‘m sure I’ve let him down with my various exploits. And it’s not as if he judges or looks down on me when I do. It’s more like, “I can see why you did that, but just try better next time.” He has a phrase that has become common place around here about me that goes something like “this is something that would only happen to you.” He likens my life to that of a movie. And it doesn’t matter what type of movie whether it be a comedy or a drama or a mystery or even a horror movie. He just understands that for better or for worse, I tend to live a rock star lifestyle and can’t function very well boxed in but Kevin is there to remind me that normal rules have to apply to me or else I would go insane. He is very much the angel on my shoulder to counteract the devil who often times appears on the opposite shoulder.
The entire time we have lived together Kevin as been in a relationship. I will tell you this and mean it more than anything I have ever said in my life… Kevin is BY FAR the best boyfriend that a girl could EVER have. Not once in the entire time we have lived together have I ever seen him talk to, comment on, flirt with or even look at another girl in a manner that he couldn’t with his girlfriend standing right next to him. And that’s the way it should be, but it’s not because it isn’t human nature or human instinct. To be honest, it’s almost disgusting. Not only that, but he will put her ahead of himself and involve her in his decision making 100% of the time, even when she doesn’t come close to doing the same. His girlfriend is one of my best friends but she tends to be as flawed as I am at times. Again, Kevin is so forgiving of her flaws though and has the patience to give her the time to better herself. He has an unconditional love for her that every relationship should be about but very few are. I feel like whomever is “lucky” enough to get me in a relationship in the future will get a better relationship out of me because of Kevin’s influence.
Kevin and my friendship has become more than just wrestling or training together. More than just watching True Blood or It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia together. He’s somebody that I can look up to and aspire to be more like. He is a good person. Much better than I but I am much better for knowing him and getting to live with him. Although his reasons for leaving would be more on a negative note and mine would be more of a positive note, these past two years are entirely unforgettable to me. It has been a rough time emotionally for me and Kevin has helped centered me and helped me combat my own demons and helped me to become a better person. If I am experiencing a redemption of character then it’s in part owed to Kevin.
- Joey
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Its a process...
Now, I'm no relationship expert. Far from it, in fact. But I often think about the dynamic of healthy relationships, as many moons ago, the one I had failed miserably at my own hand. What makes things work? Is there really a perfect relationship? Are there certain ingredients that can be utilized without fail?
In terms of commitment, what does it really mean? Is it necessary? If two people care about each other and want to be together, can it just "be"?
These are the things that I have come to terms with, in regards to a certain unhealthy dynamic in a relationship. A dynamic which I am all too familiar with, unfortunately. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the person in power controls the relationship, obviously. The person in power is also usually the one who loves the other less. They make the other jump through hoops, and take them for granted. Detachment gives power over the situation, and it is that person who is the one calling the shots. The other, hopelessly in love, powerless, and willing to bend over backwards for the one they care for. And is it fair? Is it right? And why string someone along if that’s what the other really feels? I have so many questions, and as the manipulator for so long, so little in the way of answers.
The past few years have certainly been a learning process for me. Learning about who I am, independent of the 'unit' I had come to be a part of and comfortable in. Re-defining who I was, both personally and professionally. Loving, losing. Loving, losing. So yeah, I have learned acceptance and found peace in the knowledge that nothing will ever be as it was, and found that forward is the only motion that saves one from themselves in times of grief. You can never go back, and whatever prospects you have in the future will certainly NEVER be what you had before. You just cannot have those expectations. In going back to the detachment topic, knowing your roll in a relationship, and recognizing your partner's role, will certainly better the odds for survival. It’s also important to know your definition of what a loving relationship is to YOU, so you can decide what feels comfortable and right for you. Guidelines, rules...they are all important in establishing what you want out of a partnership.
On a side note, but still somehow connected to this topic, I feel, I am a huge believer in everything happens for a reason. There is no fairy tale, there is no perfect. There is only what you put in and get out of a situation. Life gives you who and what you need at the time. Something, whatever it may be, is providing, regardless if it is good or bad, and teaches you valuable lessons about the things you love, and the things you take for granted.
I have many regrets about the way I acted in the past, but I wouldn't change a thing about the direction my life took on. I have come to accept things the way they are, and I am OK with it. I am stronger, and better for it. And if you love her, and you're happy, then the pain was for a good cause, and it was meant to be.
- Morgan
- Morgan
Friday, July 15, 2011
"We're only just as happy as everyone else seems to think we are." - Jimmy Eat World from the song 'The World You Love'
I must apologize for the lack of updates on here. Truth be told, Morgan and I have had a busy couple of weeks. I have been traveling a lot to various shows and working on a TV show that I’m also a producer on. Plus I made a trip this week with my friend Jon to the MLB Home Run Derby and All-Star Game in Phoenix, AZ. So amazing. As for Morgan, she just recently got home from a trip to New York where her and her band mates were working on photos and videos for their upcoming album. The pictures look incredible. I have been lucky enough to get a sneak preview of some of the album and I cannot wait for the finished product. Anyways, enough excuses. Just an apology for a recent lack of updates. I’m sure this won’t be the last but we’re trying! It’s still new to us.
A friend of mine with whom I recently spent a day with gave me a critique on this blog. He said he really enjoys the thought out writings but wasn’t a fan of the “dome coach” conversation post. He said we are both very articulate but that post came off like a couple of teenagers giggling about sex. And I can totally see that. That is a very valid point. HOWEVER, to know Morgan and I and to know our friendship, we talk about some of the most ridiculous things and literally nothing is off the table. What I find most interesting is that we can take the most immature topics and spend a great deal of time on them, analyzing them and making well thought out statements which only serve to prolong the conversations and quite frequently turn into debates. I would be lying if I said that Morgan and I didn’t have an in depth conversation today about penis sizes. Now before I start to sound like the majority of our conversations are about such things, they are not. It just happens and also happens to bring the most hilarity when it does so they are the ones that will more than likely turn up on here.
Aside from all that, I don’t really know how “grown up” I am anyways. My days are filled with baseball, Disneyland and wrestling. Sometimes a combination of all three. I live the dream life of a 15 year old. My career is professional make believe. I think Morgan gets that about me which is why we can have serious conversations about asinine things. When Morgan wrote her introduction about me, she mentioned how childlike I can be. But I think it’s more than that. I think it’s a resistance to normalcy. A resistance to what is expected of me. It’s a stubbornness to live life on my own terms. Sometimes it makes me so happy and sometimes it makes me so sad. It is my character flaw and I will own it until the day that I die.
Woe is me, right? To those who had to be up at 5am this morning to sit in traffic to get to work and sit behind a desk all day can’t imagine what complaints I would have. And believe me, it’s not lost on me what I have. Or is it? I am thankful for the opportunities I am afforded with the lifestyle I have chosen, but to say things have come easy would be underselling just how much work I have put in to get here. It’s hard to believe that very many people can sympathize with all I have gained and all I have lost and the sacrifices I have made to get here. Nobody knows how many times I have failed and continue to fail just to have the smallest things go my way so I can continue to be who I am and not lose myself or get lost in the shuffle. To quote my favorite TV show, being Joey Ryan is a gift and a curse.
What is wrong with normalcy? Well, nothing is really. When your routine is the abnormal then you develop a longing for normalcy. The things others take for granted are the things you come to desire. My inability to carry on a meaningful relationship might not be too abnormal but for me it seems to be that of a lost cause. I’m notorious for dating younger but that is because of my character flaw. Morgan is the only girl I have found close to my age that I feel comfortable completely being myself around and yet we have exhausted the possibility of being together and have deemed it not in the cards for us. When I try to date women in my age range, I feel like the date becomes much like a job interview for a husband position. And I feel like I fail the interview the minute I tell them that I play fight in my underwear for a living. Or about my weekly trips to Disneyland. Or about my addiction to Major League Baseball. A problem that I don’t seem to find with 18 to 24 year olds. The problem there is that 18 to 24 year olds tend not to be too interested in settling down or starting something serious. Again, woe is me… The 30 + year old guy who is hooking up with 18 to 24 year olds. I understand I could have it a lot worse, but you can’t control what your heart longs for. Perhaps it’s simply a matter of the grass always being greener on the other side. Or perhaps my life is in the mold of a Shakespearian tragedy.
- Joey
A friend of mine with whom I recently spent a day with gave me a critique on this blog. He said he really enjoys the thought out writings but wasn’t a fan of the “dome coach” conversation post. He said we are both very articulate but that post came off like a couple of teenagers giggling about sex. And I can totally see that. That is a very valid point. HOWEVER, to know Morgan and I and to know our friendship, we talk about some of the most ridiculous things and literally nothing is off the table. What I find most interesting is that we can take the most immature topics and spend a great deal of time on them, analyzing them and making well thought out statements which only serve to prolong the conversations and quite frequently turn into debates. I would be lying if I said that Morgan and I didn’t have an in depth conversation today about penis sizes. Now before I start to sound like the majority of our conversations are about such things, they are not. It just happens and also happens to bring the most hilarity when it does so they are the ones that will more than likely turn up on here.
Aside from all that, I don’t really know how “grown up” I am anyways. My days are filled with baseball, Disneyland and wrestling. Sometimes a combination of all three. I live the dream life of a 15 year old. My career is professional make believe. I think Morgan gets that about me which is why we can have serious conversations about asinine things. When Morgan wrote her introduction about me, she mentioned how childlike I can be. But I think it’s more than that. I think it’s a resistance to normalcy. A resistance to what is expected of me. It’s a stubbornness to live life on my own terms. Sometimes it makes me so happy and sometimes it makes me so sad. It is my character flaw and I will own it until the day that I die.
Woe is me, right? To those who had to be up at 5am this morning to sit in traffic to get to work and sit behind a desk all day can’t imagine what complaints I would have. And believe me, it’s not lost on me what I have. Or is it? I am thankful for the opportunities I am afforded with the lifestyle I have chosen, but to say things have come easy would be underselling just how much work I have put in to get here. It’s hard to believe that very many people can sympathize with all I have gained and all I have lost and the sacrifices I have made to get here. Nobody knows how many times I have failed and continue to fail just to have the smallest things go my way so I can continue to be who I am and not lose myself or get lost in the shuffle. To quote my favorite TV show, being Joey Ryan is a gift and a curse.
What is wrong with normalcy? Well, nothing is really. When your routine is the abnormal then you develop a longing for normalcy. The things others take for granted are the things you come to desire. My inability to carry on a meaningful relationship might not be too abnormal but for me it seems to be that of a lost cause. I’m notorious for dating younger but that is because of my character flaw. Morgan is the only girl I have found close to my age that I feel comfortable completely being myself around and yet we have exhausted the possibility of being together and have deemed it not in the cards for us. When I try to date women in my age range, I feel like the date becomes much like a job interview for a husband position. And I feel like I fail the interview the minute I tell them that I play fight in my underwear for a living. Or about my weekly trips to Disneyland. Or about my addiction to Major League Baseball. A problem that I don’t seem to find with 18 to 24 year olds. The problem there is that 18 to 24 year olds tend not to be too interested in settling down or starting something serious. Again, woe is me… The 30 + year old guy who is hooking up with 18 to 24 year olds. I understand I could have it a lot worse, but you can’t control what your heart longs for. Perhaps it’s simply a matter of the grass always being greener on the other side. Or perhaps my life is in the mold of a Shakespearian tragedy.
- Joey
Monday, July 4, 2011
Sometimes, we talk about alternative streams of income...
7/3/2011 7:04 PM: Joey: Did I tell you about my new job venture?
7/3/2011 7:11 PM: Morgan Lander: Uhhhh no. What are you doing? Did I tell you my Mom and I are talking about you? Hahahaha
7/3/2011 7:14 PM: Joey: What about me are you talking about?
7/3/2011 7:16 PM: Morgan Lander: Ohhhh just about how we have had the same experiences. And how when my Mom goes to Vegas for her final bootcamp thing she wants you to come hang
7/3/2011 7:17 PM: Joey: I can't wait!
7/3/2011 7:18 PM: Joey: Are you ready to hear about the Dome Coach?
7/3/2011 7:19 PM: Morgan Lander: Ummmm yes?!
7/3/2011 7:20 PM: Joey: For a very reasonable rate, a lady can pay me to give me oral sex while I take notes on her skills and ability and then critique her performance.
7/3/2011 7:27 PM: Morgan Lander: This is going in the blog.
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Morgan Lander: Hahahaha what a ridiculous idea. But I like it!
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Joey: Someone is going to steal my idea and make a million dollars with it. I am the Dome Coach!
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Morgan Lander: I honestly think you could make it work too.
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Morgan Lander: Just don't get caught.
7/3/2011 7:29 PM: Morgan Lander: So, when are you going to start this venture?
7/3/2011 7:30 PM: Joey: Maybe set up shop in Nevada.
7/3/2011 7:30 PM: Morgan Lander: Perfect way of getting around the prostitution laws.
7/3/2011 7:30 PM: Morgan Lander: You could even get into scholarships!
7/3/2011 7:31 PM: Morgan Lander: Make it a whole training program!
7/3/2011 7:31 PM: Morgan Lander: Dome coach bootcamp!
7/3/2011 7:31 PM: Joey: Certifications.
7/3/2011 7:33 PM: Morgan Lander: I think you have a winning idea.
7/3/2011 7:34 PM: Morgan Lander: I guess you are gonna need an assistant? Take notes for you?
7/3/2011 7:35 PM: Joey: Are you looking for work?
7/3/2011 7:38 PM: Morgan Lander: Well I'm certainly not looking for instruction haha. If you need an assistant, so it doesn't seem as creepy, I'll do it! Make the clients feel at ease with a woman there, you know?
7/3/2011 7:40 PM: Joey: You want to watch me get head? haha
7/3/2011 7:40 PM: Morgan Lander: Sure, why not. I mean, we're professionals, right?
7/3/2011 7:40 PM: Joey: Very true. We're high class.
7/3/2011 7:43 PM: Morgan Lander: Yes! And I mean, this is a business after all. Watching the teacher at work is just part of regular every day operations.
7/3/2011 7:45 PM: Joey: What would my assistant do? Make me sandwiches to replenish me? haha
7/3/2011 7:47 PM: Morgan Lander: Take notes. I will have excellent vantage points.
7/3/2011 7:48 PM: Joey: You'd be the best assistant.
7/3/2011 7:54 PM: Joey: But you know, if I ever have trouble getting it up, my assistant may have to help.
7/3/2011 8:04 PM: Morgan Lander: Hahahaha we'll have some sort of contraption for that. I'll make sure to be the consummate professional
7/3/2011 8:06 PM: Joey: I'll be on a regiment of Viagra.
7/3/2011 8:06 PM: Morgan Lander: Suppose that will be my job too. Make sure you have a steady supply.
7/3/2011 8:07 PM: Morgan Lander: Ordering cases from questionable sites online for cheap.
7/3/2011 8:10 PM: Joey: You better not let me down.
7/3/2011 8:15 PM: Morgan Lander: I will be the best assistant the Dome coach can buy!
7/3/2011 8:16 PM: Joey: You can start by looking into office buildings in Nevada for me. :-)
7/3/2011 8:18 PM: Morgan Lander: Perfect! Holy shit you could even do parties! Like how the do sex toy parties!
7/3/2011 8:19 PM: Joey: Let's make a million dollars.
7/3/2011 8:27 PM: Morgan Lander: Love it! I'm down :)
7/3/2011 8:29 PM: Joey: Maybe look into the legalities of it while you're at it.
7/3/2011 8:34 PM: Morgan Lander: I will for sure. I mean prostitution is legal there, and if the Bunny Ranch is a thriving business, I don't see why it couldn't actually work.
7/3/2011 8:35 PM: Joey: I'm ready. I can go right now.
7/3/2011 8:38 PM: Morgan Lander: Ha!
- Morgan
7/3/2011 7:11 PM: Morgan Lander: Uhhhh no. What are you doing? Did I tell you my Mom and I are talking about you? Hahahaha
7/3/2011 7:14 PM: Joey: What about me are you talking about?
7/3/2011 7:16 PM: Morgan Lander: Ohhhh just about how we have had the same experiences. And how when my Mom goes to Vegas for her final bootcamp thing she wants you to come hang
7/3/2011 7:17 PM: Joey: I can't wait!
7/3/2011 7:18 PM: Joey: Are you ready to hear about the Dome Coach?
7/3/2011 7:19 PM: Morgan Lander: Ummmm yes?!
7/3/2011 7:20 PM: Joey: For a very reasonable rate, a lady can pay me to give me oral sex while I take notes on her skills and ability and then critique her performance.
7/3/2011 7:27 PM: Morgan Lander: This is going in the blog.
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Morgan Lander: Hahahaha what a ridiculous idea. But I like it!
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Joey: Someone is going to steal my idea and make a million dollars with it. I am the Dome Coach!
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Morgan Lander: I honestly think you could make it work too.
7/3/2011 7:28 PM: Morgan Lander: Just don't get caught.
7/3/2011 7:29 PM: Morgan Lander: So, when are you going to start this venture?
7/3/2011 7:30 PM: Joey: Maybe set up shop in Nevada.
7/3/2011 7:30 PM: Morgan Lander: Perfect way of getting around the prostitution laws.
7/3/2011 7:30 PM: Morgan Lander: You could even get into scholarships!
7/3/2011 7:31 PM: Morgan Lander: Make it a whole training program!
7/3/2011 7:31 PM: Morgan Lander: Dome coach bootcamp!
7/3/2011 7:31 PM: Joey: Certifications.
7/3/2011 7:33 PM: Morgan Lander: I think you have a winning idea.
7/3/2011 7:34 PM: Morgan Lander: I guess you are gonna need an assistant? Take notes for you?
7/3/2011 7:35 PM: Joey: Are you looking for work?
7/3/2011 7:38 PM: Morgan Lander: Well I'm certainly not looking for instruction haha. If you need an assistant, so it doesn't seem as creepy, I'll do it! Make the clients feel at ease with a woman there, you know?
7/3/2011 7:40 PM: Joey: You want to watch me get head? haha
7/3/2011 7:40 PM: Morgan Lander: Sure, why not. I mean, we're professionals, right?
7/3/2011 7:40 PM: Joey: Very true. We're high class.
7/3/2011 7:43 PM: Morgan Lander: Yes! And I mean, this is a business after all. Watching the teacher at work is just part of regular every day operations.
7/3/2011 7:45 PM: Joey: What would my assistant do? Make me sandwiches to replenish me? haha
7/3/2011 7:47 PM: Morgan Lander: Take notes. I will have excellent vantage points.
7/3/2011 7:48 PM: Joey: You'd be the best assistant.
7/3/2011 7:54 PM: Joey: But you know, if I ever have trouble getting it up, my assistant may have to help.
7/3/2011 8:04 PM: Morgan Lander: Hahahaha we'll have some sort of contraption for that. I'll make sure to be the consummate professional
7/3/2011 8:06 PM: Joey: I'll be on a regiment of Viagra.
7/3/2011 8:06 PM: Morgan Lander: Suppose that will be my job too. Make sure you have a steady supply.
7/3/2011 8:07 PM: Morgan Lander: Ordering cases from questionable sites online for cheap.
7/3/2011 8:10 PM: Joey: You better not let me down.
7/3/2011 8:15 PM: Morgan Lander: I will be the best assistant the Dome coach can buy!
7/3/2011 8:16 PM: Joey: You can start by looking into office buildings in Nevada for me. :-)
7/3/2011 8:18 PM: Morgan Lander: Perfect! Holy shit you could even do parties! Like how the do sex toy parties!
7/3/2011 8:19 PM: Joey: Let's make a million dollars.
7/3/2011 8:27 PM: Morgan Lander: Love it! I'm down :)
7/3/2011 8:29 PM: Joey: Maybe look into the legalities of it while you're at it.
7/3/2011 8:34 PM: Morgan Lander: I will for sure. I mean prostitution is legal there, and if the Bunny Ranch is a thriving business, I don't see why it couldn't actually work.
7/3/2011 8:35 PM: Joey: I'm ready. I can go right now.
7/3/2011 8:38 PM: Morgan Lander: Ha!
- Morgan
Friday, July 1, 2011
Happy Canada Day, Morgan!
Blogging is tough. Performing half naked in front of large groups of people is easy. Blogging however, is not. Morgan and I decided to start this blog because of our deep and meaningful conversations… Actually, that’s a lie. We decided to start this blog because of our ridiculous conversations about our cartoon lives that tend to put us in random, awkward and sometimes regrettable, other times enviable situations. The conversations that followed were some of the most insane things that you could ever hear two sane people talk about. Maybe we aren’t so sane after all. This blog is actually months and months in the works and we finally started it. We decided that the people who want to, needed to hear about our experiences, but that’s where it gets tough.
With Morgan, I have absolutely no filter. I just say the first thing that pops into my head without a second thought about it and she wouldn’t have it any other way. And she loves that about me. She tells me that that is the Joey that everybody needs to know. The one that she knows. But therein lies the problem with blogging. With blogging I am forced to think about what I’m saying. Or typing that is. Even if I just type as my mind flows, I have to read it back if for no other reason to check for typos. Then I read what I typed and have to think about it. Then I get critical. Then I start to worry about who exactly will be reading this and what exactly is the perception that I am giving off. I mean if I bang a stripper and want to type about it, do I have to worry about my mother reading this?
I realize that a blog is voluntary and the information I provide in it is on a voluntary basis. I also realize that you reading this is voluntary and obviously if you’re here, then you have something at least somewhat vested in me, so why hold back?
Morgan is so good at writing about her feelings. After all, she has been doing it for years through her song lyrics. I wish I had the confidence that she does about that. She insists that I do, but I guess that time will tell. I’m sure through her persistence, you will hear all about my many adventures. Not that she is pressuring me into this by any means. She is just a great motivator. And she assures me that there is someone deep down inside of me that is worth getting to know.
- Joey
With Morgan, I have absolutely no filter. I just say the first thing that pops into my head without a second thought about it and she wouldn’t have it any other way. And she loves that about me. She tells me that that is the Joey that everybody needs to know. The one that she knows. But therein lies the problem with blogging. With blogging I am forced to think about what I’m saying. Or typing that is. Even if I just type as my mind flows, I have to read it back if for no other reason to check for typos. Then I read what I typed and have to think about it. Then I get critical. Then I start to worry about who exactly will be reading this and what exactly is the perception that I am giving off. I mean if I bang a stripper and want to type about it, do I have to worry about my mother reading this?
I realize that a blog is voluntary and the information I provide in it is on a voluntary basis. I also realize that you reading this is voluntary and obviously if you’re here, then you have something at least somewhat vested in me, so why hold back?
Morgan is so good at writing about her feelings. After all, she has been doing it for years through her song lyrics. I wish I had the confidence that she does about that. She insists that I do, but I guess that time will tell. I’m sure through her persistence, you will hear all about my many adventures. Not that she is pressuring me into this by any means. She is just a great motivator. And she assures me that there is someone deep down inside of me that is worth getting to know.
- Joey
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