Dear...

Today is a hard day, and I'm not sure why.  Maybe its because I think back, and remember a time when I'd reflect on this day, when it was a few years in the future, and imagine what we'd do to celebrate.  How we'd spend it together, where we might go...  I read and re-read the email I just sent you, and tears slowly come to my eyes.  I have to fight to keep them back, I forget I'm in public.  Acceptance is hard, when you know its really the only choice you have.  Its either accept, or dwell and drown in it.  Its neutral, uninspired and ambivalent, kind of like how we feel about each other.  We've come so far in patching up our broken selves, and are so far removed from the events of winter of last year.  Moved on, changed our lives.  Grown apart.

When did we become strangers?  How is it that a person I spent 8 years of my life with, lived, loved and became best friends with, is now a person who I no longer know at all?

I'm happy for you...so glad that you've found someone that brings out the best in you, brings you joy, and doesn't hold you back and keep you chasing and reaching for the unobtainable, the way that I did.  You deserve that, more than anyone I know.  But a part of me is still sad, still sorry. 

We will never be what we used to be, who we were before.  Time and experience will see to that, and I know that.  Things can never go back.  Life is change in perpetual motion.

But I still wish you could see the things I've done since then.  I wish you could see the growth, the progress, and the changes I've made.  I wish that you could see the person that I've become.  And the thing that I feel, in the pit of my stomach, with the knowledge that you may never know who I am now... is acceptance.

- Morgan